Thursday, December 31, 2015


I turned twenty-one
And thought
Life would be better
When you are that age
I didn't know then
How wrong I was

I strangely
Don't remember
Much of February
I remember Independence Day
And working when
Not many were at office
But I have no other memories
Of that month

I wish March
Never happened

What is Avurudhu
When you will never again
Eat your favorite pol-toffee
Made by your favorite person?

Vesak lanterns
Make any house
Feel warm
Like home

Whatever happened in June
I no longer remember
Maybe it was one of those
Insignificant months

We didn't want a celebration
Because of what we'd lost
But you turned it into one
Even though it wasn't even your day to celebrate

Maybe August was when we
Finally stopped talking
I don't remember


No more surprises
Gifts and cards
Remember the paper cranes I made you last year?
You stole their wings and flew away from us

I was told
Nothing mattered
Because sometimes
What you do isn't enough

I quit
And lost a home
I quit
And lost a lot

But I wrote
Turned feelings into words
That's the one thing
You can't take from me

A month of
New friendships
Feeling lost
And being found

365 days
12 months
You weren't the best
But you weren't the worst

New year, new life?
Same life. Same me.
Different year

Monday, December 28, 2015

The Bra

Flung at a singer
During a concert
The Bra is now
Causing much havoc
The president makes
An issue out of nothing
People defend The Bra
Make it a laughing matter
Others argue
The president is right
We aren't a culture
Of bra-slingers
A girl who displays such
Immodest behavior
Is a curse to this country
That clearly values its women

While all this happens
On a lonely road
A man is quick to pretend
To urinate against a wall
And as a woman
Too tired to walk fast
Passes him by
He turns to show her his dick

While all this happens
A girl seated in a bus
Feels a man rubbing
Against her shoulder
She looks up at him
And he grins
As if to say
'Enjoy this ride'

While all this happens
A woman is pinned down
Her clothes are torn
Ripped to shreds
Her body is exposed
Covered in fear
But they don't care
As they thrust and thrust

While all this happens
A young boy is told
It's okay to have his
Privates exposed
He doesn't know
What to do
Because she is an adult
So he closes his eyes and pretends
Everything is alright

While all this happens
The real monsters in this world
Continue to attack
The innocent
While all this happens
Their screams aren't heard
Everyone's too busy
Replacing song lyrics with bra
While all this happens
Justice bids goodbye
Clearly the authorities
Have different priorities 

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


You tell me to stop being a pain in the ass
And so I apologize
And disappear
And be one with the shadows
So that no more do you have to
Put up with me
And yes, it's just that easy for me
To disappear

But what you forget is
How I never told you to go away
Whenever you remembered me
After days, weeks, of forgetting
And then too,
Only because you needed something from me

What you forget is
How I never refused to listen to you
When you needed someone to talk to
And no one else,
None of your friends
Had time for you

What you forget is
How I stood by you
Through everything in life
Even though,
Not once did you notice me
Unless you needed someone
And all you had was me

But it's okay,
I understand
Some of us just aren't enough
We are too ordinary
So plain
And so we disappear
As soon as someone commands us to
And we don't mind
Because we are used to it
After years and years
Of being told
We are a pain in the ass

You aren't the first to tell me
And I know
You won't be the last to tell me
I'm a nuisance

But since we are talking firsts
You may also want to know that

You won't be the first
Or the last
To realize
Only when it is too late
Just how much
You needed me

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Needed? Wanted? Used.

You ask me to
Please do just this
One thing
For you
And I don't refuse
To do so
Because I believe
I truly do
And falsely
That you need me
And I can't ignore
Or reject need
Just like I can't
Ignore or reject
When it's your wants
And your needs
And they are
Your wants
And your needs
From me
So I say yes to you
Like I always do
And I go do
Whatever it is
You want me to
But there's a little voice
That keeps telling me
What I now know
Is the truth
It is the same voice that told me
That unrequited love
Is all I'll ever have
That wants and needs
Are of the service
And not the person
Providing the service
And now
That same voice tells me
You don't want me
You don't need me
You are simply
Using me

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Game over.

I knew
It was all over
This game I thought
We were playing
When your phone buzzed
And your eyes lit up
And you smiled
That all-teeth smile
When you saw
Who was calling


There was once
A free bird
And he flew over
And valleys
He saw fields
Of paddy
And rivers of
Clear blue water
And he saw how nature
Took hold
And life was lived
Days unfold
He saw people
And animals
And sand
He saw waves
Crashing into
Each other
He watched as lightning
Struck and shook
The world
As wind blew away
What remained
But each day
He flew back to
The caged bird
That he loved
And he told her
In great detail
Everything he
Had seen
And she lived through
His words
Imagined places
She would never be to
Never see
She saw the world outside
Her cage
Even if
They were through
The free bird's
But then
One day
The caged bird
And she waited
And she waited
But that day
The free bird
Never flew back
Nor did he
The next day
And so the caged bird
Never saw the world
Except the plain grey
Around her

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Run for their lives

Run for their lives

But stop to think

Whose lives you are running for

When you proudly wear

The free tshirt

Remember the people around the globe

Who don’t have clothes to keep them warm

When you take selfie after selfie

And pose for photographs

Do you ask yourself

What purpose they serve?

Do you know what people go through

How much they suffer

And how many die of illness?

Do you only lend a helping hand

Or a few rupees

If you’ll get tagged in

Pictures later?

Smile all you want

But look for the smiles

On the faces of the lives you are running for

On the poorest of faces

Do you see them?

On the sickest of faces

Do you see them?

Run for their lives

But stop to think

Whose lives you are running for

Friday, December 11, 2015

No letters for us

The red postbox
The green postbox
Letters inside
So far away
From their
On the envelope
And a crow lands
On top of
The green postbox
And asks
"No letters for me?
No letters for me?"
And the postbox answers
"Never for us
Never for us"

Wednesday, December 9, 2015


Don't flatter yourself
These poems aren't about you
And they sure as hell aren't
For you

The Truth.

Not much stops me from telling you the truth and leaving the great unknown
You can ignore the truth or acknowledge it, it’s all up to you
Not much stops me from being honest and giving you the power to make a choice
You can break my heart or be my world, it won’t depend on me

Then why don’t I just let go of this truth that makes my life feel heavier than it should?
All it will take are three words, three simple words
Then why don’t I just tell you how I feel and stop worrying about how you may feel?
All it will take is a small effort and I would have taken the first step

It’ll be so goddamn easy to tell you
And it will be so goddamn easy to have my heart broken
But if it’s easy
Then it’s not worth it

It’ll be so goddamn easy to tell you
But I don’t because, the truth is
I’m too afraid of knowing another truth
Not my own, but yours

A truth that is as simple as my three word truth
A truth that is the complete opposite of how I feel
A truth that will be like an anvil that lands on me
A truth that will crush me more than you would think it would

And so I swallow my words and smile at you
Even when you look at me and say, ‘friends?’
And of course, I feel that anvil on me
Even as I said, ‘friends.’

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Not enough

That's what I am
I'm not good enough
I'm never enough

I'm not fair enough
I'm not thin enough
My hair is too messy
And I don't talk enough
I should party more
Just have more fun
Because I don't have
Enough of a life

My grades aren't that good
I'm not creative enough
A personal blog doesn't count
These poems don't either

I don't follow enough people
To be famous on Twitter
I don't have enough friends
To be cool on Facebook

I can't take selfies
And so I get no likes
The boys don't even notice me
I might as well be invisible

I'm not enough
But they tell me I can be
The only problem is
I don't care enough
To be someone I'm not

She thought he loved her

She thought he loved her
Because he would smile at her
From the other side of the room
And when he walked towards her
She felt the rest of the world
Fade away

She thought he loved her
Because he was always there
And he made sure she wasn't alone
And when she knew no one in a crowd
He would never hesitate to
Rescue her

She thought he loved her
Because they liked the same books
And talked about them
Until the sun bid the world goodbye
And it was too dark to see
Not even each other

She thought he loved her
Because he was nice and helpful
And went out of his way
To make sure
She had everything she needed

She thought he loved her
Because it made no sense for him not to
And everything would be perfect
If he did

She thought he loved her
Because she loved him
And the fairy tales told her that
That was enough

She thought he loved her
Until she told him
He said they were 'just friends'
And suddenly nothing made any more sense to her

Sunday, November 22, 2015


Selfie after selfie she posts
In her Instagram with the weird username
And people tell her she’s pretty
They like her pictures
And compliment
Although some call her a slut
Even though she isn’t
And she tells you why she doesn’t pair
Those pants with that top
Because it makes her look
Like she’s out to get some
Even though she isn’t
Not that night
Not ever
And she covers her face in makeup
For the cheeks, lips, for her eyes
And they call her beautiful
And her outfits, they are cool
But nobody sees beneath those filters
The empty room she sits in
Frowning except when
Taking a picture
Wearing clothes she will never wear again
Because she has no where to go
Can only be in her bedroom
And they like her because she doesn’t wear bands in her hair
But a scarf around her neck
And bands on her writes
And they don’t see what she’s hiding
All those marks
And the loneliness
The prison that’s her room
Because she looks like she’s on her way to a party
But she never gets invited
And even if she does
She can’t make it out the door
And so she stays indoors
And those comments they leave
On her photographs,
They make her smile
They let her know
She’s beautiful
And that makes her smile
But no one sees that smile
Her real smile
Because it’s invisible
Like she is

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Your love.

You wrote pages and pages
About how much you love me
Lit them on fire
And said
This is what I'll do to your love

You took a wire scrub
Scraped it against a nonstick pan
Again and again
And said
This is what I'll do to your heart

You brought home a plant
Promised to take care of it
Never watered it
Let it die
And said
This is what I'll do to you

You painted a canvas
In a million different colors
Then splashed black paint on it
And said
This is what my love is like

And I
I collected the ashes
Of your love letter
I threw away the wire scrub
Painted the pan
I bought a new plant
Watered it every day
I let the paint dry
Put up the black painting on a wall

And I
I gave you all my love
So you could burn it all
I gave you my heart
So you could break it
I gave you my life
So you could end it if you wanted to
I gave you everything
Knowing I'll get nothing in return

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Happy endings

‘And they lived happily ever after’
The author wrote
Scribbling ‘The End’
Right after
He then
Collected the sheets of paper
Covered in type-writer letter
Carrying a story of great delusion
Of love and happiness
And he stapled them together
Looked at the manuscript
His first and last novel
Facts twisted and distorted
Until all that remained were
Only the good
And not the truth
And he walked to the kitchen
Of his pol-athu pale
Rolled the paper
Of his story
Placed them neatly in the
Dara lipa
Lit them on fire
Boiled some water
Made some tea
Sipped it and pictured
What his life would be like
If there was a fairytale ending
Like his now burnt
Story did

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Wish upon a (dead) star

Words stem from the deepest corners of our hearts and minds
And thus its natural to assume they are coated in truth
Yet, how much of our words are of fictional words
And how many are in fact of the mundane reality that is life?

So when I write about love, please believe me
Those are feelings that only exist in this world online
And no matter how many words I write,
The make-believe will never become reality

And an infinite time you may wish
Upon stars that died a million years ago
But your wildest dreams, the impossible
Will join stars in unreachable abyss

But dream and dream and love with an open heart
Because maybe there is a star that survived
And just one wish will be heard and granted
And the love you wish for will be more than fantasy

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Faceless woman

A faceless woman
Stands behind glass
Clad in sari
In elegant pose
People look
Some stare
Others ignore
Or don't notice
But they breathe in
And they breathe out
Living and living
In their plain clothes
The faceless woman
Her sari glistened
Sequined border and
Deep neckline
But she doesn't see
The beauty of garment
For she's on display
And can't enjoy
But others do
In their ordinary clothes
For a moment envious of the
Sari-clad mannequin

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Paper plane

If there were words to describe just how I feel
I would write them all to you
And you will struggle to read what they are
Because the ink will bleed into each letter
Connecting them like our hearts
And you will know exactly how I feel

But there are no words, no matter how hard I look
No dictionary contains the definition of my emotions
And so I give you a white blank page
A pen that hasn’t dropped a single drop of ink
And you look at paper crumpled
And see no words
So you give it back to me and walk away
Away, away

And I,
I can’t say a word
So all I do is watch you go
And with the white blank paper
I make a paper plane
That flies and flies
Away with my love