Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What were you like?

What were you like,
When you were my age?
Do you see your self
When you look at me?
Did you smile at the world
Even though, you wanted to cry?
Did you keep your feelings bottled up?
Did you turn to word, written
Instead of word, spoken?
Were you constantly looking for answers
Knowing the answers would only disappoint?

What were you like,
When you were my age?
Are the similarities
Only in hair, features, looks?
Or do they go beyond that
To feelings, thoughts and preferences?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Khaled Hosseini

Khaled Hosseini,
the one man who can
make it seem like
my heart has been sent through
a paper shredder.
Page by page,
you give hope
about each character
And then, you shatter dreams
in a single, simple line

Khaled Hosseini,
Did the mountain really echo?
is the tale too haunting
to read till the end?
I still hear Hassan's voice
from the Kite Runner,
"For you,
a thousand times over."

Khaled Hosseini,
is it you who has thrown me
right back in this
seemingly bottomless pit
of depression?
Are your words so strong,
that they can make
one cry?

Monday, July 15, 2013


Scars can be
those marks on our skin
when we tripped and fell
a bruised knee
or when the blade sliced our skin
when we thought the physical pain
was better than the mental agony

Scars can be
those marks in our mind
forever reminding us of
memories we wish
we could forget

Scars can be
what others leave behind
when their lives don't
have room for you

Scars can be
what you leave behind
when you choose to forget
choose to ignore
choose to push away

Scars are a many
and they will all decorate
your skin, your mind
the scars make you
who you are
they are the reason
you are unique

Scars fade away
with time
not all of them
some stay on,
forever a reminder
of what once was

Scars can be erased
with time,
or by effort
you forget,
memory fails you
the scars fade
they stop haunting

Scars, faded or forever,
will be left behind
you will scar
and you will be scarred

Saturday, July 13, 2013


We lie,
to our selves
we convince
our selves
of the truth behind
the lie.
We lie,
to the world
we make them believe
in the truth behind
the lie.
We lie,
to our selves and the world
of the truth behind
the lie.

When we lie,
the truth is buried
beneath the lies
we say.
When we lie to
our selves
the world will tell us
of the lie
and we will see the truth
When we lie to
the world
something in us,
knows it is not the truth
When we lie to our selves and the world,
the lie becomes the truth,
there's no one who really knows.

We lie,
because the truth
is too painful
too truthful
to be the one known.
We lie,
because we have no choice
or we think we don't
there's no hope
in the truth.
We lie,
because in the lie
we find solace
the one thing
the truth can't offer

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


A sudden realization
That is what I had
An epiphany
A thought that
Makes you say, 'huh!'
It explained things
Not everything
But most things

And as the sky darkened
I felt that relief
The relief of knowing
Of reaching the surface
Of that pit of water
I had been drowning in

I was told,
"You don't love people,
You love the fact that
They love you."
Makes sense now,
You love the need
You don't love the person

The epiphany
Made life lighter
It raised the
That pulled me down

Monday, July 8, 2013

Little Fly

Little fly,
What are you thinking
As you fly from phone to
book to mug?

Little fly,
You aren't so small
Your last day is closing in
Have you done all you want?

Little fly,
What do you plot
As you rub your hands together
So fast, so quietly?

Little fly,
Is it a prayer
A word of thanks
For the days you've lived so far?

Little fly,
Do you wish
You were bigger than you are
Or less despised?

Little fly,
What's your story?
The places you've been to
Where ever your wings take you

Little fly,
No need to worry
I am not like the others,
I will let you live

Little fly,
It's time now
For you to leave me alone
Find someone else to buzz around

Little fly,
It was nice watching you
But answers you didn't give.

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Don't say goodbye
For farewells
Cannot be good

Don't say, "I'll see you soon"
For how soon is soon?
Two hours or five months?

Don't say ILY
Three letters don't say what
The three words mean

Don't say, "I miss you"
When you haven't said a word
Each time I walked past you

Don't say you'll be there
When all I get
Are telephone rings

Don't say you are sorry
When we both know
You aren't

Don't say what you don't mean
For we can't afford to
Waste anymore words

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Dark skies

The powder blue
Of the mornings young
Or the darker one
Of afternoons bright
Nor the oranges
Or pinks
Of the evenings quiet

It was black
Of the nights so cold
The nights so dark
The nights so empty

It wasn't a shield anymore
No, the sky had chosen
It had chosen the gods of hate
It had chosen to reveal

For the dark skies
Make us remember
The hate
Make us see
The corruption
Make us cry
Of pain, hurt
The dark skies,
They show,
They reveal


Today's lunch
Just a few hours ago
I remember
Takes me seconds

Your name
I search my mind
What letter
How long

Shared with you
They are there
But buried deep
A movie
A conversation
A hug

Slowly fading away
Scaring me
That I forget too soon
That I won't remember
But will I?
Could I?
Should I?

Voices in my head

The voice in my head
Seems to get more louder
I hear it more often
It talks to me
Tells me what to do

The panic attacks
As I call them
Are getting more
I cannot breathe

The blackouts
When things go dark
When memory reminds me
I didn't live those moments
They take up too much of my time

The spacing out
I hear less and less
Of what is said,
I see less
I'm there less

The shivers
And cold sweats
Too many times a day
Stronger and stronger
Lasting longer and longer

I ignore them
Or I try to
I smile and pretend
Everything is okay
But nothing is