Just one of those days

On some days the batter is lumpy

Flour refusing to incorporate with sugar and egg

The cake burns in the oven

Despite there being ten minutes left on the timer

Your beautiful sponge is dry and dark

Shrinking as the clock ticks

And one of the good layers breaks in half as you try to

Place it on the turntable

A spoonful of frosting falls on the table

And what does get slathered on the cake

Melts because the cake is still too hot

So you give up, scream in frustration

Sit on the floor and ignore the cake

You should have just bought instead

And the waterworks start

Dripping down your face like the too-pink frosting

Dripping off the turntable and on to the table

On some days you are as big a mess

As the cake falling apart in your kitchen

There, I said it. Happy now?

On nights like this, I struggle to ignore that godawful truth

It's embarrassing, especially given my age

And the mask that resembles a brave face I hide behind

But hey, today, I'm just a little too tired to keep it in

To pretend that everything's okay

That our family of five that became four that became three

Will soon become two

That I have to smile through every single thing

Friends family whoever

Does that steer us more and more away from

How things are

I usually pretend none of this affects me

That I'm in control

That I like the direction in which my life is headed

But today, my feet ache a bit too much

Breathing feels like a chore and crying seems to be a thing

We now do for no reason, with no warning, at the oddest times

My fingers can barely make it across the keyboard

So let's get this over with

The goddamn truth

I'm so fucking lonely.