Tuesday, August 8, 2017


Silence for a week

As a fever crept up on me
When I wasn't looking
As blood test after blood test
Showed a decreasing platelet count
As medical jargon was thrown my way
And no one was quite sure
If I was going to be okay

As I sweated and then shivered
Swallowed pills that didn't go down smoothly
And threatened to come right back up
As I slept and slept and slept

As I shut myself out of the world
A headache making me cry in pain
Every single inch of my body
Aching for god knows what reason

Silence for a week

I had that at least
For a week
Seven days or so
My mind was too busy
To let you crawl your way to the front
And so

Silence for a week

And as twisted as this sounds
Thank you for that

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Two is company

They say three is a crowd
But there's just the two of us
So everything should be fine
But then
Deep in my mind
My heart
If you search long enough
You'll find him
A third among us
A flag to claim
The most important parts of me
His territory
And no matter what you do
Or say
Or are
I will always consider
Him and I company
And you a crowd

Hasn't it been long enough?

You linger
In my mind
Like the stale breath
Of a smoker
Who put down his last cigarette
A long time ago

Friday, July 7, 2017

Fine print

If you had ever loved me
Then it must have been like the fine print
Terms and conditions
We all agree to without even glancing at


Would we ever have been able
To remain friends?

You with your refusal to admit
You led me on
That it was you who
Took that first unnecessary step

And me
Stupidly unable to follow instructions
Stupidly breaking the one promise we made each other
Stupidly falling in love

Would we ever have been able
To remain friends
When your heart had not an ounce of love for me
And all mine had was love for you?

Sunday, July 2, 2017


In the beginning
Your touch was soft
I felt safe
And we left the world behind
Hand in hand
The wind followed us
Making my hair dance
Almost like the snakes
On Medusa's head

And just as I was
Starting to love
My life with you
Your skin lost its softness
And your touch bruised me
We were now walking against the wind
Which carried fine sand with it
Making my skin burn
My eyes water

And I knew the end was near
Because as if afraid of
Turning into stone
You could never
Look me in the eye

Friday, June 23, 2017

Opposites attract?

I don't care for opposites anymore

Opposites attract?
People are attracted to people
One being black
The other being white
Doesn't matter
Because the greys
The yellows, the blues
The pinks and other hues
They all fall in love

And happiness?
The opposite of sorrow
But those who are sad
Rarely look for happiness
All they want is to not be so sad anymore

And the calm that follows the storm?
Sunshine after rain?
A smile instead of a frown?
Love instead of hate?
War ending in peace ending in war ending in peace
Yin and yang?

Why not the forgotten
The usually unnamed
That lies between
The storm and the calm that follows
Rain and sunshine
A frown and a smile
Hate and love
War and peace
Yin and yang

That's what I want

You and I
We aren't black and white
The sky and land
Right and wrong
Hot and cold

You and I
We are something else entirely

Monday, June 19, 2017

More than usual

I've been missing you more than usual these past few days
And maybe that's why I haven't been writing as much as I used to
Because everything I want to write is about you... about us
And I promised myself I won't drag you into my words anymore

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Handholding (again)

He held my hand
And that was all
But it felt like a million fires
Were being lit
In my heart
You, the replacement
Touched me in so many other ways
But I was nothing but a matchstick
Long burnt out

(Sort of a continuation of this poem here, although the 'him' and 'you' are different people)

Wednesday, June 14, 2017


I don't quite understand why
The memory of his tongue
Doing the tango in my mouth
Is less repulsive than
The memory of your hand
Reaching for mine.