Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Hunting

I couldn't stand you
Because you reminded me of something
I was trying so hard to forget
The chase and the catch
The hunt and the kill
Of a while back
I fell foolishly for
So much that I willingly
Trapped my foot in the snare
And let him add me to his collection
Of foolish prey
And you reminded me too much of that
Even though you were more like a
Clumsy hunter with butter-fingers
Your hunting gear, unpolished, inadequate
Your skills, even worse
And yet, something about you
Reminded me too much of him
And he fooled me once
But I wasn't to be fooled again

Linked

In an email from a website for professional networking
They suggested I connect with you
In a professional setting
Apt, I suppose,
Since sometimes it's clear that
We were nothing but colleagues
You would walk in, sit in a corner
Work silently, leave
I would try to ignore you
And yet, fail at it because
I didn't know you
And mysteries always attracted me
But here we are now
Removed completely from each others lives
Both real
And online
But this one site meant to keep things professional
Has gone and opened a Pandora's Box of emotion
In my heart.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Please leave

I did everything I could
To remove you from my life
I deleted your number
Unfriended you on Facebook
Unfollowed you on Twitter
Deleted our chat history
I did everything I could
To remove you from my life
And yet you continue to haunt
The corridors of my heart

Monday, October 30, 2017

What's the use

Maybe nothing is worth it
And in the end
I'd have burnt myself out
For nothing
Maybe that's why we are fed
Lies about love
Passion, success
Goals and dreams
A future we have to
Dedicate our today for
Just so we would find strength
In those lies
To go on ahead
Fighting the pain
The exhaustion
So maybe someday
Hopefully soon
I'll wake up and see
All these sleepless nights
Tears cried
Words written, erased and written again
Were all for naught

Thursday, October 19, 2017

#MeToo

Me too
I can't say out aloud
Still ashamed of the way
I was touched once
A long time ago

Me too
I whisper
Wondering why I'd felt so bad
When it was he who felt the urge
To expose himself
Like that

Me too
I say
Fighting the embarrassment
That fills me up so quickly
Whenever I remember
How he had rubbed against me
In a crowded bus

Me too
I shout
Even if it makes my throat hurt
Because I'm tired of the guilt
I've felt for crimes not mine
Tired of the silence
That lets them walk away scott free

Art

It's okay, love
Choose her
Over me
Don't feel bad
You aren't the first
And you won't be the last
Everyone chooses her
Over me
I'm the painting in a corner
People linger at for only a moment
Almost out of obligation
Before moving onto
What really is art

Fear

It scares me
How easily we adapt to the
Absence or loss
Of those we love

It scares me
How easily we adapted to
What our lives became
After you died

It scares me
How easily I may adapt to
What my life will become
When those that remain also leave

Struggle

Sometimes
I don't even bother sharing
These words that are a struggle to string together
Because who are we kidding
I write them for no one
But you

Promises

I keep making promises
To stop writing about
For you
And I keep breaking them
How could I not
When you broke that first promise of all
To not break my heart
But I guess
Promises were never binding between us

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Untitled

(Note: I'm clearing up an Instagram account that was a massive failure. Didn't want to delete these posts without putting them up somewhere)


All I could do
Was ask you to stay

And all you could do
Was leave

.. .. .. .. ..

I forgot
What it was like to be
So completely alone
In this world
I forgot
What life was like
Without you

.. .. .. .. ..

I suppose
Your palm didn't sting
As much as my cheek burned
When you slapped me with the truth

.. .. .. .. ..

Why have you returned?

Is it to tear me apart
Like you did before
Expose me
Dump me on a rarely-traveled road

Leave me for the vultures?

.. .. .. .. ..

At a certain point
In the middle of the night
It gets so quiet
Surreal
That I can almost feel
Hands
Reaching around my neck from behind
And squeezing tightly