Thursday, October 19, 2017

#MeToo

Me too
I can't say out aloud
Still ashamed of the way
I was touched once
A long time ago

Me too
I whisper
Wondering why I'd felt so bad
When it was he who felt the urge
To expose himself
Like that

Me too
I say
Fighting the embarrassment
That fills me up so quickly
Whenever I remember
How he had rubbed against me
In a crowded bus

Me too
I shout
Even if it makes my throat hurt
Because I'm tired of the guilt
I've felt for crimes not mine
Tired of the silence
That lets them walk away scott free

Art

It's okay, love
Choose her
Over me
Don't feel bad
You aren't the first
And you won't be the last
Everyone chooses her
Over me
I'm the painting in a corner
People linger at for only a moment
Almost out of obligation
Before moving onto
What really is art

Fear

It scares me
How easily we adapt to the
Absence or loss
Of those we love

It scares me
How easily we adapted to
What our lives became
After you died

It scares me
How easily I may adapt to
What my life will become
When those that remain also leave

Struggle

Sometimes
I don't even bother sharing
These words that are a struggle to string together
Because who are we kidding
I write them for no one
But you

Promises

I keep making promises
To stop writing about
For you
And I keep breaking them
How could I not
When you broke that first promise of all
To not break my heart
But I guess
Promises were never binding between us

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Untitled

(Note: I'm clearing up an Instagram account that was a massive failure. Didn't want to delete these posts without putting them up somewhere)


All I could do
Was ask you to stay

And all you could do
Was leave

.. .. .. .. ..

I forgot
What it was like to be
So completely alone
In this world
I forgot
What life was like
Without you

.. .. .. .. ..

I suppose
Your palm didn't sting
As much as my cheek burned
When you slapped me with the truth

.. .. .. .. ..

Why have you returned?

Is it to tear me apart
Like you did before
Expose me
Dump me on a rarely-traveled road

Leave me for the vultures?

.. .. .. .. ..

At a certain point
In the middle of the night
It gets so quiet
Surreal
That I can almost feel
Hands
Reaching around my neck from behind
And squeezing tightly

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Filled to the brim

There's no more room in my heart to love another
Because you filled it to the brim before you left
I'm scared of losing even a single drop so I stand still
And pray to god you gave me enough to live

Friday, October 13, 2017

Blunt

Thank god the scissors were sharp
And not blunt like you
(Now don't flatter yourself
I was blunt as in straightforward
You were blunt as in opposite of sharp)
Because if the blades hadn't made a clean cut
Between you and I
I'd have chosen to ignore my wound
And bleed to death
Than talk with you again

Sorry to disappoint

You said you liked me as I was
The whole package, all of me
The cake, the icing, the good
The bad, the flaws, the weaknesses
So I bore it all to you
Naked as the day I was born
And you realized you were wrong
I wasn't who you thought I was
And as I was revealed to be
Angry
Vicious
Petty
Bitter
And every other thing
That tainted your image of me
I hoped for once the truth would work
That it was the lies that drove everyone away
But there was no use in disrobing, exposing
Because before I could even take a breath
Blink or bat an eyelid
You had gone so far away
Realizing you had come for the young girl in Little Red Riding Hood
But got instead the big bad wolf

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Festering

when you'd just left
and the wound was still so fresh
I needed you to tell me
that soon
it wouldn't hurt that much

picture me dead
now that would hurt
this leave of absence I'm taking
you'll live through
you said

I swallowed your words
every one of them
being the stupid girl
I always was
with you

and now I can tell you
if you'd died
the wound in your name
festering on my skin
would have healed
a long time ago