Fine print

If you had ever loved me

Then it must have been like the fine print

Terms and conditions

We all agree to without even glancing at

Friends?

Would we ever have been able

To remain friends?

You with your refusal to admit

You led me on

That it was you who

Took that first unnecessary step

And me

Stupidly unable to follow instructions

Stupidly breaking the one promise we made each other

Stupidly falling in love

Would we ever have been able

To remain friends

When your heart had not an ounce of love for me

And all mine had was love for you?

Medusa

In the beginning

Your touch was soft

I felt safe

And we left the world behind

Walking

Hand in hand

The wind followed us

Making my hair dance

Almost like the snakes

On Medusa's head

And just as I was

Starting to love

My life with you

Your skin lost its softness

And your touch bruised me

We were now walking against the wind

Which carried fine sand with it

Making my skin burn

My eyes water

And I knew the end was near

Because as if afraid of

Turning into stone

You could never

Look me in the eye

Anymore

Opposites attract?

I don't care for opposites anymore

Opposites attract?
No
People are attracted to people
One being black
The other being white
Doesn't matter
Because the greys
The yellows, the blues
The pinks and other hues
They all fall in love

And happiness?
The opposite of sorrow
But those who are sad
Rarely look for happiness
All they want is to not be so sad anymore

And the calm that follows the storm?
Sunshine after rain?
A smile instead of a frown?
Love instead of hate?
War ending in peace ending in war ending in peace
Yin and yang?

Why not the forgotten
The usually unnamed
That lies between
The storm and the calm that follows
Rain and sunshine
A frown and a smile
Hate and love
War and peace
Yin and yang

That's what I want

Because
You and I
We aren't black and white
The sky and land
Right and wrong
Hot and cold

You and I
We are something else entirely

More than usual

I've been missing you more than usual these past few days

And maybe that's why I haven't been writing as much as I used to

Because everything I want to write is about you... about us

And I promised myself I won't drag you into my words anymore

Handholding (again)

He held my hand
And that was all
But it felt like a million fires
Were being lit
In my heart
You, the replacement
Touched me in so many other ways
But I was nothing but a matchstick
Long burnt out



(Sort of a continuation of this poem here, although the 'him' and 'you' are different people)

Handholding

I don't quite understand why

The memory of his tongue

Doing the tango in my mouth

Is less repulsive than

The memory of your hand

Reaching for mine.

It's okay to cry

We are ashamed of our tears

Because we are told they are a sign of weakness

And no one wants to be weak

But there's nothing wrong in feeling this way sometimes

We all have moments

When we can't take the next step

Because we feel a tremor in the ground beneath us

And fear it will slip away

Right beneath our feet

We all have moments

When we are so afraid

Because everything is uncertain

And we know there's no safety net

To catch us when we fall

We all have these moments

So why should we be ashamed

To admit

We are only human?

It's okay to be afraid

It's okay to be tired

It's okay to be weak

It's okay to cry.

Listen.

I will always listen.
My doors, my heart, are always open.
You know where to find me
When and if you need to talk.

They offer help now
Now that it's too late
Now that they know
They won't have to listen

Because they don't
They don't understand

How can such a beautiful person
Do such a horrible thing to herself?
No problem is so unsolvable
For you to cause such grief to your family.
She was so young
Too young to die.

For a minute
I beg you
Listen

Listen
Without assuming
Listen
Without judgment
Listen
Without comparing
Listen.

Just listen for five fucking minutes
And then you'll see
That no one is ever too beautiful to die.
No one is ever too young to die.
Family isn't -shouldn't be- the only reason to live.
A smile doesn't always stem from happiness.
And even if it does,
Happiness is temporary.

Listen
Before it's too late.

Switch

Apparently
There's a switch in my mind
Which lets me
Change how I feel

They say I keep it switched off
Even though a simple
Movement of a finger
A flick
Can switch it on
Flood my life with light

They say I'm being difficult
Trying too hard to be different
Seeking attention
Starving for it

And I'm not
So I look for this switch
When my thoughts are all tangled
And nothing makes sense anymore
When my entire body itches
The back of my knees
The inside of my elbows
When my fingers don't stop trembling
And I feel disconnected
When I see things
Even in the darkness
Things that don't exist
And it terrifies me

But I can't find this switch
That they promise
Will make me feel better
I can't find it
No matter how desperately I search