Clot

There's a clot
Beneath my skin
Made of what
I'm not too sure
But there is pain
Dull but constant
Near my chest
It hurts
And this clot
Blocks the air
My lungs need
Not filling them fully
It hurts
I try to breathe in
1... 2... 3... 4...
Breathe out
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8...
But I can't
There's nothing filling my lungs
And this makes my heart
Slow down
And my skin tingles
I feel faint
I can't breathe
I can't function
And everything is so loud
Echoing in my head
Chipping away at my skull
Maybe my head will explode

I want to use something sharp
A blade, a knife, anything
To cut open my skin
So I can reach in
Pull out the clot
Just so I can breathe once again
But whenever I place cold steel against my cold skin
A voice inside my head whispers that
Nothing
Not even this
Will make it alright