mother

You need to let me go
You need to set me free
You need to say it'll okay
That you wouldn't miss me so

You need to cut these strings
That tie me to this place
You need to use the sharpest scissors
Not worry about the pain

Because it'll hurt
Both you and I
We will bleed and weep
Wish we could rewind

But the truth is this
And it comes with no coating
No sand-like sugar
To make it less bitter

These strings tying me to you
Are tangled around my neck
And every time I try to fly away
They steal the air I need to breathe

So clip them off
These strings, my wings
Slash my wrists
Bind my legs

But let go of me
Set me free
I may leave but I
Will always come back to you

Awful

I write terrible poems
About terrible people
And terrible times
Because I can't help
But hope
That by reliving them
Through my own words
Again and again
They won't hurt as much
Someday
As they do now

Jaded

I always dropped that last letter
When I thought about this particular word
My mind went to the green rock
Polished smooth

But you changed it for me
That one word
You said you were jaded
A warning I paid no heed to

And now whenever I come across it
In a book or movie, conversation
My mind no longer goes to that odd shade of green
But to you...

Because you came to me
Already cynical
But I remained untouched
Until I met you

Paper

The paper cranes I learned how to make for you
Have ever since been an anchor that stops me from drowning
When my head starts spinning and my thoughts keep unravelling
I fold paper over and over again until it is a crane

And now I am surrounded by them, these little origami birds
But I'm told not to waste paper making these silly crafts
But it's only because they don't know, so they mean no harm
When they take away the only thing that keeps me afloat

And so like you slipped out of our touch all those months ago
I sit here, unable to speak or move
Stuck in this downward spiral
Without you here to save me

Climax

I thought I was over you
The last of the cobwebs
Attaching you to me
Dusted off and swept away
You were truly gone
Out of my system
Until in that weakest moment
You crept into my mind
Made me pause
For just a second

Touch

It’s funny, really

How strong my aversion to physical intimacy is

My body shrinking away from the simplest

Most innocent of touches

And my mind fleeing at the possibility of more

But then there are these moments

That weigh down in my chest

Making me miss that one time

Years ago

With you

Weird

It's weird
This thing between us
Bestfriends
If we were younger
But we are too old for such possessiveness
So friendship
Years and years of it
And yet I struggle
With words
I hide what means the most to me
From one of the few people
That mean the world to me

Time

I wish we'd met later in life
I was a kid and you were you
I wish I'd been older just so I'd know
When you dragged me into your life
Forced yourself into mine
The kind of heartbreak you were going to leave behind

Vacant

These past few weeks
Months, actually
My mind has been vacant

He finally left
And I had all these empty rooms
I had nothing to fill with
And I liked it that way
This peace of mind
I haven't known for a long time

And then, in a moment that was usually
Exhaustion, satisfaction, breathlessness
You crept into my mind

And boy
Let me tell you
All alarms just went off

Time

I will make time for you
To see what you've been up to
Read whatever you post online
Wonder even if it's just for a second
If I should talk to you

But then I refuse to
Make time to be with you
To actually reach out, talk
Go beyond a like or retweet
And that makes all the difference
Doesn't it?