Dead flowers

I won't lie
I do read my own poems
Not because I want to
Remind myself of all the words
I've strung together over time
But because sometimes
Especially after writing a poem
Labelled 'you'
I need reminding that
It's high time I changed the flowers in the vase
They are dead already
But I can't let go
I can't bear to accept that
It's time to get some
Fresh flowers
So I torture myself
I read all those words
Ignore the fiction
The made-up
And cling instead
To the tiny truths
Hidden between all those lines
And always
At some point I give up
I close the page
Stop reading the poems
And I think,
'Maybe tomorrow
I'll throw away these
Dead flowers'

But I never do.