barbed wire fences

You learn to protect yourself

Telling yourself little lies

That sound convincing enough

You need to protect yourself

I don't date

Because of a fear of commitment

And not being able to prioritise

A relationship at this point of life

(but not because by the age of thirty

i've attracted a whopping zero men)

I don't drink around certain people

Because I will say the wrong thing

And hurt the people

I know I need to let go of but don't seem able to

(and not because drunk me always talks about

a certain man i'm trying not to think about)

I'm choosing people who bring me happiness

Because I've decided to put my interests before

Those of others

Choosing myself, instead of another

(not because the people i thought cared

have proven otherwise - a grief i still cannot process)

I sent you a message after saying I won't

Because surely we all deserve that second chance

To finally do the right thing

And maybe you were just busy before

(and not because I'm still not ready

for this to end)