love

why cant men limit their affections

to those hours of waking up

instead of letting them contaminate

our hours apart

why do men look for love

where there is none to give

insist that they can change

what is set in stone

lost... not found

Where is the tenderness I seek

Is it under nails, like dirt,

On turmeric-stained fingers?

Will I find it if I scream my voice hoarse

In a tranquil forest that does not talk back?

Is it, perhaps, lost beneath photo albums

Moments from long ago yellowing with age?

Was it put away by mistake with dusty Christmas

Ornaments, no longer taken out once a year?

silence

You once promised to share your poetry with me

"Let me send them to you"

You never did

That was the last time we really spoke, you know?

A few, tired words as the sun readied itself

For another day

Your world is made up of words

You pluck them like ripe fruit

Arrange them like constellations

Weave them together like yarn

And yet, when I sit next to you

Look for the tiniest morsel of

Hope? Interest? Reciprocation?

Acknowledgment of what once was

What could have been?

I don't even know

You have no words to give me

None at all

Word of the day: logophile

a lover of words

Phobia

a quick google search tells me that

the ten most common phobias include

ophidiophobia: an intense fear of snakes

aerophobia: an intense fear of flying

astraphobia: an intense fear of thunder and lightening

agoraphobia, social phobia, mysophobia

and so on

but what about the fear that keeps us up late at night?

forces us to change our ways, settle for less?

makes us choose the wrong people, live the wrong lives?

what about that intense fear of loneliness

that blooms from our skin, little forget-me-nots

deceptively delicate, and yet so eager to grow?

Water

I'm water

Taking shape

In whatever mould

Another hands me

And I feel myself

Turning into vapour

Droplets in the air

Soon to be nothing

I need to be a solid

Like wood or metal

Unchanging

Against your needs

bread, butter and other luxuries

With you, I'm willing to settle for seconds

A quick touching of hands, a smile between words

A hand on my lower back, a kiss on the cheek

Nothing that lasts beyond a moment

I think about seconds as I reach for another slice of bread

Slather butter on it, as if soon, cows will go extinct

You make a face from across the table, and I laugh

These small luxuries are all I have

A cup of coffee to my right

An offer you have never made

"Oh you are leaving" you once said

But never "stay for a while longer"

the end

the days turn into weeks

the weeks turn into months

and before you know it

we'll be counting years since we last spoke

purloin

When you hurt me with your words

So sharp, they reminded me of glass

Pieces of a mirror that would cut the hands

That tried to pick them up, capture the reflection

Of a face that winces at the pain, the blood

I tucked away the hurt, smiled through it

Instead turned to little thefts, malicious takings

Of what was yours first

And you would put on a brave face, say you didn't

Care, everything was mine to take

We played this game for so long

There was nothing left to call yours

Except for all the hurt that settled in

Among the stolen things

tone

The breeze brings with it the slightest chill

But the heat remains an undertone

Like that hint of meanness in your voice

When you say the sweetest things to me

things could have been different

i wish the first time i was naked with a man

had been a moment filled with so much more tenderness

and patience

i wish undressing had taken longer, like a game of strip poker

for everything i learnt about you, a piece of clothing would come off

i wish you had taken time to explore my body

and let me take my time with yours

instead it was all so quick,

the closing of a door, the taking off of clothes

your tongue pushing past my lips, hands between my legs

consent asked for, consent given

sighs and moans

like two actors playing a scene in front of a camera