Desire

I want to be desired by someone

To feel like I can't breathe

Like my lungs can no longer function

I want someone to choose me

From a room full of people

To want me

To make me feel like someone

Worthy of being loved

Oh so happy

I want my happiness to last longer

For it to not be mere moments

I can barely hold in my hand

I want happiness to last hours and days

Months and years

I want to be happy throughout my life

Wake up with feelings of hope and

Expectation

just one thing

i wish you'd turned to me

and kissed me that day

in the dark

so no one could see

i wish you'd had the guts to do that

just so i wouldn't now be left with

memories with someone

i never cared for

extremes

You had a filter on

All this time

That turned you into this

Magical creature

You seemed too good

To be real

You seemed too pure

To walk this same earth

As the rest of us

And every word you uttered

Sounded like music

but now,

that magic has faded

and i see you

as you are

lips dark and dry

skin ashen

like furniture gathering dust in a corner

old and falling apart

and your voice

like chalk against the board

Intrusive

When will it end

These thoughts about death

And when it will happen

And how I will do it

When will I be able to

Enjoy a moment

Without wondering

How I will die and

How I will do it

Pour me another

A shot of arrack

A splash of cola

Was all it took

To get over you

Replaceable

And so it turns out that

It is easier than I thought

To stop loving you.

Dust

On some days

I do not want to move

A limb

I want to lay there

On my bed

And let the mattress

Swallow me whole

I want morning to turn into

Noon and then night

I want days to pass

Seasons to change

Lightning and thunder

Sunshine and rainbows

I want the world to go on

To never stop going in circles

Round and round and round

The sun

And as children grow up

And adults grow old

Trees die

Buildings change

I want to be a girl

Who once refused to leave her bed

And turned into dust

You

I miss you

I miss what we have had

Dead end

You find yourself

Distanced from the crowd

These people you love

Wondering when

You became this unhappy

And that's the moment that

Scares you the most

Because it feels like

There is no coming back

There is no way out of this