It doesn't matter how long it's been

Word of the day: sinsyne

from that time; since then.

It doesn't matter now

It's been so long

You say

More to convince yourself

Than me

I've moved on

But it's never easy, is it?

When the one you once loved

Finds love elsewhere

And you are left stranded

Bobbing about in an

Inflatable boat

That almost looks comical

Until it starts deflating

The way your lungs lost air

The day he said

There was someone else

Drink up

We've reached the age where kissing strangers

Leaves no residue in our minds and hearts anymore

When he reaches for my hand, I know

This gesture will never again be repeated

He doesn't promise to call, I don't expect him to

We don't even save the other's number

This is the age of moments that disintegrate

As soon as we move on to the next

I run my hand through his hair, kiss his lips

And he unbuttons my shirt

But the sighs we each let out, the quiet consent

Is only for this one encounter

Tomorrow, he will find someone else

And this memory will be crushed

Beneath the weight of my hangover

Just one favour

Word of the day: Victorine

A fur scarf with long tabs at the ends.

Pick the best scarf from your collection

Make it fur, if possible, for it will feel softer

Wrap it around my neck and gently but firmly

Tighten it until I can no longer breathe

Give me this one thing, I beg you

Scale of one to ten

Word of the day: Cherubic

of or having the nature of a cherub, or an angel represented as a rosy-cheeked child with wings; angelic

Today,

I feel ugly

And before you say

One's self-worth is not

Determined by how

They are perceived or treated

By others

Know that, on any other day,

I would agree

Whole-heartedly

But today,

Just this one day

I can't help but look at everyone else

Their cherubic faces mocking me

And feel like a minus

On a scale of one to ten

Today,

I don't need to hear the truth

Sugar coated

I don't need to be told that

Things will get better

If only I could bide my time

They've all been wrong people

So far

The right one will come along

Any minute now

Today,

I don't need to be comforted

Or even pitied

Today, I need you to let me be sad

And angry and annoyed and

Irritated

I need you to let me be

Drafts

In my drafts, there sits a poem, for us

Incomplete, like us

Sometimes, I read it, consider writing the rest

Wonder if enough time has passed

For it to be just a poem

Devoid of any connection to you

But years could pass and those words

Would always always always

Remind me of the one night

That was ours

Bilious

Word of the day: Bilious

Extremely unpleasant or distasteful

You once asked me why I was so cranky and I didn't really know what to say

Because this is how I've always been and I can't really help it if the

Universe is just never on my side, now can I?

But a character in a show I watched a few days ago spoke about how

The anger within her could someday distance everyone from her

Leaving her alone, a gorilla in a cage with no one to take care of her

And I would be lying if I said that scene didn't bother me in the least because

Truth be told, I hate how angry and cranky and irritable and unpleasant I can be

It makes me so tired, by the end of the day, to carry all of that in me

Like bile, sloshing around my insides, burning everything it comes into contact with

It feels like I always have my guard up, sword drawn, ready to defend myself

Even when no one's around me, even when I can relax, take a deep breath

And maybe that's why you left, why no one ever seems to stay

Saturnian

Word of the day: Saturnian

prosperous, happy, or peaceful

the consequences no longer matter

we can't afford to think about what follows

we will do as we please

run naked across fields if we have to

drink way too much, hangover be damned

open our hearts, talk about our deepest fears

love and be loved

grab on to those fleeting feelings of joy

and make the world ours

we will turn the present into

one we can look back at fondly

when years have passed and our hair is grey

skin wrinkled, sight weakened

we will complain about backpain and

tiredness

all the pills our doctors have prescribed

down a shot of arrack

-still the best medicine-

and look back at these saturnian days