Firefly

The firefly in my room died last morning

Or at least I think it did

The previous night it flew around my room

Lighting up against the darkness of the night

The firefly even landed on my hand

A few seconds of rest

Before flying off again

When I awoke the next morning

I found it on the floor

Its little light kept blinking, as if

It was signaling for help

I picked it up and kept it on the windowsill

Thinking it needed sunshine and fresh air

The way we think dying plants with

Yellowed leaves and wilted stems

Need fresh air and sunshine

The way I thought you did

When those first signs of things not being right

Started appearing through the cracks in the landscape

Known as us

I left you outside to get some sunshine and fresh air

But when I came back to check on you

You were gone

And the firefly?

I never saw it again either

One last time

Maybe if we met one last time

Just for five minutes

And you said all the wrong words

And did all the wrong things

I'd realise I was no longer in love with you

plain jane

No one knows about the things that actually matter

The things you hold on to years after you've lost them

No one knew about you, even though we never tried to hide it

Years later, mutual friends are still surprised

Perhaps it was because we were such an unlikely couple

You were... well, you

And I was just plain old me

coconut

Crack my head open like a coconut if you must

Split it in half and reach in

Pull out the bits of my brain that don't do their job

Filling me up with anxiety and dread

Depression and sadness

Self-doubt and a fear of loss and

An inability to trust in the good things

Instead turning to constant worry about things going wrong

Don't bother with the psychoanalysis

It won't work

Just split my skull in two and

Pull out those bits of my brain that don't do their job