Waffles

By the time I get to bed and sit in front of the laptop

Unpause the episode of Grace and Frankie I was watching

The butter had melted and formed small golden pools in the

Waffles I made for dinner

And between picking one up and taking a bite

It hits me that I will be lonely, alone for the rest of my life

It's moments like these that I dread the most

Everything seems as good as they will ever get

And then the universe throws a curveball at you

And nothing seems right anymore

Mosquito

There are four mosquitoes inside the mosquito net

Their little bodies heavy, they struggle to fly

Blood, so red against the sunlight

My blood

I clap my hands around them

Blood staining my hands

My blood

What's the point of having your guard up

Building walls around you

If the enemy is already inside

The thief returns

You, the thief,

Return

To take what is mine 

So fucking blind 

To see what it does to me 

But I don't have a fight left in me

So here

Have it all 

What little there is left

Take it and leave me alone

Today we write soppy poems

I don't know if it's because the blues have been bluer

And I've been feeling lonelier than usual

Or if it's because I've been wondering if we should have

Given each other a bit more time

But the songs on the radio remind me of you today

A voice I heard on the street reminds me of you today

The way the clouds look up in the sky, this godawful April heat

A movie ticket from years ago, the colour of my bedroom walls

Everything reminds me of you today

And how I wish

I could love and be loved by you

Today is for missing you

Today is for wishing for the unattainable

And today is for soppy poems.

Disintegrating

I feel like I'm coming undone 

Everything I am is slowly turning into 

Nothing 

I forget how to talk to people 

Responding instead with a word or two 

Touch feels alien, your hand 

Accidentally brushing against mine felt so strange 

People who were constants, strangers now 

I don't know how to love them 

I look at myself in the mirror and wonder 

Who this woman is, staring back 

I don't recognize her 

I don't recognize myself