A place on earth

I'm in a country that loves the color white

More than they like the darker hues

It's getting better, they say

And yet, I wonder, if that's true

I'm in a country where my dark skin seems

So wrong, so dirty, so ugly

My dark hair isn't brown or blonde like theirs

And it's the wrong color too

I'm in a country where I'm asked if I'm mixed

Or if I'm 100% Indian

I feel like a beverage

Coffee mixed with creamer or 100% fresh orange juice

I'm in a country where I'm congratulated for being Sri Lankan

Because people don't know how to react

To being told I'm from a country

They haven't even heard of

I'm in a country so far away from home

With food that is not new to me

But they don't taste as good as a hot parippu

With rice and fried fish

I'm in a country that looks nothing like home

Where the grass is a different shade of green

The sky is a different shade of blue

And the water tastes different

I'm in a country where the language I know

Makes me feel less that I am

Simply because I pronounce even the simplest words

All wrong, too slow

I'm in a country that isn't home

A country that'll never be home

I'm in a country where my darkness makes me feel

Like an alien from a distant planet

And then I think of home and the country that is mine

An island in the Indian Ocean

And I remember all the times I've been told

I'm too dark, I should stay away from the sun

I remember all the times people have stared

Because the clothes I wore were just not right

I remember all the things that have been said

About how curly my hair can get

I remember all the times I've been told

To not decorate my dark skin with darker ink

I remember all the times I've been told

I'm too dark, too plain, too ugly

And I think of the country that is my home

The place I've lived in since birth

And I remember all the times I've been made to feel

Like an alien from a distant planet

And so I wonder where I belong

Where my complexion isn't a flaw

And so I wonder where on Earth

I can be without feeling inadequate

And so it rained...

And so it rained

It rained until the roads were one big puddle

It rained until there was water up to the front step

It rained until there were inches of water in houses

It rained until only the roofs of houses could be seen

And it rained and it rained and it rained

And people lost their homes

Everything that they had worked so hard for

They lost books and clothes

TVs and roofs

They lost everything

Some even lost their lives

And some were safe from the floods

Some were safe from the landslides

Some were safe from the harsh winds

That seemed to mock us

'You asked for rain

So here it is'

And the people who were safe

They collected dry rations

They helped those in need

They risked their lives

Just so another could be saved

And others, they complained

No one is praying for Sri Lanka, they said

Prayers don't work, others said

Facebook notifications are annoying

Even if they let me know my friends and family

And the people I added for no reason

Are safe

They complained, they complained, they complained

And it rained and it rained and it rained

වෙසක්

සවු කොලේ ගිනිගනී

ඇගේ හිත වගේ

සුලඟ සමග තරහ වී

අටපට්ටම ඇවිස්සුවාට

ඉටිපන්දම පෙරලා

කූඩුව පිච්චුවාට

පන්දම දැල් වෙයි

සුදු තිරය පිටුපස

කහ පාටට දිලෙයි

වෙසක් කූඩුව

ඔහුගෙ සිත වගේ

සන්සුන්ව

What is it about rain

that makes one feel

so deeply unhappy

and so terribly alone?

Better now than never

Strange, isn't it,
how you realize things
when they no longer matter
and it's too late
there's no use anymore
in knowing any better?

Because I know now
it was all in my mind
that you noticed me
enjoyed our conversations
you were just bored
being polite

I remember now a moment
that so clearly told me you knew
and yet, here we are
years later and I still wonder why
and now I know it wasn't bad timing
just lack of shared feelings
the bitter truth
but still the truth

And so I'll set you free now
from my mind, from my heart
go, fly away, like a little bird
go away, far from where I am
I will no longer look for you
in a crowded room
I will no longer wonder
what if... what if... what if...
because now I know
and it breaks my heart but
better now that never